Book notes: “How to Win Friends and Influence People” – Part III – Chapters 10-12 – Part IV – Chapters 1-2

Part III – Chapter 10 – An Appeal That Everybody Likes

Carnegie says humans do things for reasons that “sound good,” which may differ from their “real” or primary reason.  He shares that it can be very persuasive to appeal to the reasons that “sound good.”  For example, John D. Rockefeller Jr. wanted the press to stop taking photos of his children.  He appealed to the “noble motive” of not harming children by reminding the press that too much publicity was bad for children.

Quotes from the chapter:

• The fact is that all people you meet have a high regard for themselves and like to be fine and unselfish in their own estimation.
• But all of us, being idealists at heart, like to think of motives that sound good. So, in order to change people, appeal to the nobler motives.

Part III – Chapter 11 – The Movies Do It.  TV Does It.  Why Don’t You Do It?

This chapter emphasizes the persuasiveness of a dramatized message.  When a rat poison company provided its dealers with displays that contained live rats, sales for the poison increased five-fold. 

A couple of related quotes:

• The truth has to be made vivid, interesting, dramatic. You have to use showmanship. The movies do it. Television does it. And you will have to do it if you want attention.
• All of these dramatize for the viewer the advantages offered by whatever is being sold—and they do get people to buy them.

Part III – Chapter 12 – When Nothing Else Works, Try This

According to Carnegie, if all else fails introduce friendly competition.  In a mill that was not producing at its potential, Charles Schwab took a piece of chalk and wrote a large “6” on the floor indicating the day shift’s output.  After finding out what the “6” meant, the night shift left a “7” on the floor for the day shift the next morning.  The next day the day shift left a “10” for the night shift.  Very quickly the mill was more efficient than all the other mills in the factory.

Related quotes:

• The one major factor that motivated people was the work itself. If the work was exciting and interesting, the worker looked forward to doing it and was motivated to do a good job.

PART IV – Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

Part IV – Chapter 1 – If You Must Find Fault, This Is The Way to Begin

Carnegie believes that beginning with praise is the way to bring out the best in others.  A recently hired bank teller was good with customers, however, she had trouble cashing out.  The head teller complained to the branch manager that the teller was slowing down the bank.  The branch manager visited the teller the next day and noticed her terrific interactions with customers.  At closing, the branch manager complimented the teller on her interactions and then said she wanted to review the cashing out process.  Showing confidence in the teller’s ability, the branch manager made some suggestions that the teller quickly conquered.  

Quotes from the chapter:

• It is always easier to listen to unpleasant things after we have heard some praise of our good points.
• Beginning with praise is like the dentist who begins his work with Novocain. The patient still gets a drilling, but the Novocain is pain-killing [sic].

Part IV – Chapter 2 – How to Criticize – and Not Be Hated for it

Here, Carnegie suggests criticizing indirectly.  A woman getting some construction work done found pieces of sawed-off lumber across her lawn at the end of a workday.  After the workers left, the woman and her children gathered the pieces of lumber and stacked them nicely in the corner.  The next day the woman complimented the foreman on how well kept his crew had left the yard.  Each day after that, the foreman sought approval for how the yard was left.

A related quote:

• Calling attention to one’s mistakes indirectly works wonders with sensitive people who may resent bitterly any direct criticism.