Book notes: “How to Win Friends and Influence People” – Part IV – Chapters 7-9

Part IV: Chapter 7 – Give a Dog a Good Name

Carnegie believes a person will live up to the reputation you give them.  As an example, a mechanic had begun doing subpar work.  The service manager told the mechanic that since he was such a good mechanic, he would probably want to know that his work had been of lower quality than usual.  Carnegie says the mechanic “once again became fast and thorough.”

A couple of related quotes:

• In short, if you want to improve a person in a certain respect, act as though that particular trait were already one of his or her outstanding characteristics.
• Give them a fine reputation to live up to, and they will make prodigious efforts rather than see you disillusioned.

Part IV: Chapter 8 – Make the Fault Seem Easy to Correct

In order to see positive change, Carnegie recommends praising natural ability and making the change seem easy.  Carnegie shares a story where he was invited to play bridge.  He had never been able to play before.  His friend assured him that he was already good at skills the game required and that it would be easy for him to pick up.  Carnegie soon found himself at the table playing bridge with ease.

Related quote:

• But use the opposite technique—be liberal with your encouragement, make the thing seem easy to do, let the other person know that you have faith in his ability to do it, that he has an undeveloped flair for it—and he will practice until the dawn comes in the window in order to excel.

Part IV: Chapter 9 – Making People Glad to Do What You Want

Another way to tactfully change people per Carnegie is to make them happy to do your request.  For instance, when a woman was having a problem with boys running through her yard, she approached the most ruthless child.  She told him that he would be her “detective” for finding the boys that were causing the problem.  That boy made sure no other boys stepped on the lawn (he even built a fire, warmed an iron, and threatened to brand any potential trespassers).

Quote from the chapter:

• This new responsibility and title changed her attitude completely, and she fulfilled her duties satisfactorily from then on.