Chapter 2 – A Simple Way to Make a Good First Impression
In this chapter, Carnegie discusses the importance of smiling in making a good impression. Carnegie gives an example of a computer department manager who interviewed a job candidate that had several offers. In the end, the candidate chose the manager’s company. When the manager asked the candidate why, the candidate said, “‘[on the phone] your voice sounded as if you were glad to hear from me … that you really wanted me to be part of your organization.’” Carnegie says a smile is “a messenger of your goodwill” and “brightens the lives of all who see it.”
Quotes from the chapter:
- You must have a good time meeting people if you expect them to have a good time meeting you.
- Everybody in the world is seeking happiness—and there is one sure way to find it. That is by controlling your thoughts. Happiness doesn’t depend on outward conditions. It depends on inner conditions.
Chapter 3 – If You Don’t Do This, You Are Headed for Trouble
Here, Carnegie emphasizes the importance of remembering names. He states, “the average person is more interested in his or her own name than in all the other names on earth put together.” As an example, Carnegie shares a story about how one day a scowling cafeteria worker served a man the minimal amount of food. The next day the man noticed the worker’s name on her name tag and used it in his greeting. Subsequently, he received heaping portions on his plate.
A few related quotes:
- Most people don’t remember names, for the simple reason that they don’t take the time and energy necessary to concentrate and repeat and fix names indelibly in their minds.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt knew that one of the simplest, most obvious and most important ways of gaining good will was by remembering names and making people feel important—yet how many of us do it?
- The name sets the individual apart; it makes him or her unique among all others. The information we are imparting or the request we are making takes on a special importance when we approach the situation with the name of the individual.
Chapter 4 – An Easy Way to Become a Good Conversationalist
According to Carnegie, listening, not talking, is the way to become a good conversationalist. At a dinner party, Carnegie ignored everyone except a botanist to whom he listened to the entire evening. At the end of the party, the botanist told the host that Carnegie “was a ‘most interesting conversationalist.’” Carnegie maintains that “listening is one of the highest compliments we can pay anyone.”
Quotes from the chapter:
- To be interesting, be interested.
- Remember that the people you are talking to are a hundred times more interested in themselves and their wants and problems than they are in you and your problems.
Andrew T. Daniel 